The Distillery. Finest spirits in the land. Well, only spirits in the land anymore. Lemme tell you a little bit about what we got in stock.
Squirt Cider will toughen you right up. Too bad about the musty aftertaste.
Dreadrum’s brewed from Swampweeds, so its effect is as bold as its flavor.
Fetching Fizz is like a mouthful of nails, but the benefits are worth it.
Hearty Punch is so zesty it’ll let you carry on even through the worst of times.
Werewhisky has no scent but tastes like a peppered bootheel. It’s not for everyone.
Cinderbrick Stout sure goes down smooth. Then stays in your gut like a rock.
Now Whale Ale ain’t made from real whale. But it’ll make you strong like one.
A sip of Lunkhead Liqueur will toughen you up. Too bad it’s like drinking a saddlebag.
If you’re feeling low, count on the buttery flavor of our own Bastion Bourbon.
Stabsinthe is like drinking a cool breeze. Just don’t go spitting needles everywhere.
Falling Malt is filled with crunchy minerals that’ll keep you safe out on them rocks.
Bull Brandy’s thicker than paint. Makes your skin feel tough as knifebark.
Doomshine’s a bit of an acquired taste. Like a mouthful of horseradish.
Black Rye’s like hot vineapple chowder on a cold day. Brings back memories
Cham-Pain’s made from Scumbag extract. Hence the barley aroma, and the nausea.
Folks say Mender Mead’s good for you. It’s like an herb garden in full bloom.
Leechade’s so sour it’ll perk you right up when you’re feeling low.
Lifewine’s so rich, they say it’s brought men back from the brink for one last taste.
Graver Gimlet tastes different the longer you swish it around. Miraculous stuff.